Justin’s Trudeau’s Love (Is Love) Hangover

June is Justin Trudeau’s Happy Time. For June is Pride Month, when our Boy-Emperor gurns, prances and paints his face with a rainbow—demonstrating his love to the people who love him back the best, the gays. All good Canadians love Justin, but the gays really put on a show, dressing up in colourful costumes or stripping down to their Speedos, as the case might be.

Kathleen Wynne, on the other hand, doesn’t seem very gay at all, and she scares Justin a little. He would never tell a soul (well, perhaps Gerald) that she reminds him of the wicked witch in a story his father used to read him. Justin’s not very good at titles, but he thinks it was called Handsome and Greta.

Justin wishes every month could be Pride Month. But it kinda is, almost, because Vancouver doesn’t have its Pride Parade until August! But that’s because British Columbia uses a different calendar than the rest of Canadia. Justin was a substitute teacher in Vancouver, so he knows these things.

July 1 will be fun, too. Another celebration, this time the 150th anniversary of when Canadia defeated the Yanks in the War of 1812 and established the Peaceable Kingdom. Justin wonders how Canada could be a kingdom when we’ve had a Queen, like, forever. But he expresses this unease to no one, not even Gerald because he fears that Gerald would get mad at him. Justin remembers Gerald getting mad at him and shudders. Gerald can be so cruel.

Justin is excited because Bono and The Edge will be there. He has prepared a joke, one he can hardly wait to tell. “So it’s not the whole band—just you two?” Justin imagines the Irishmen laughing with him (not at him!) and smiles. Justin doesn’t listen to U2; that’s old people music. Justin likes disco, just like his Mom. Which songs? Again, he’s not very good at titles; he just adores the whole experience: the pounding beat, the mirror ball, the glitter and the bubbles, the sweating and glowing young men.

Despite their different musical tastes, Justin has enormous respect for Bono, who is a Great Man. Back in the ancient times, the 1990s, there was this terrible disease called polio, which turned people’s lungs into iron. Can you imagine that?! And then Bono called together all the world’s leaders and scientists and said, “Oi! Sort this out, you lot!” They did, and later, in an extraordinary one-time-only event, Bono won all the Nobel Prizes. Justin likes Bono almost as much as his late Uncle Fidel.

It’s a long time between Canadia Day and Vancouver Pride—more than 19 days—and Justin is sad in his heart thinking about it. Then he thinks of his socks, of all the wonderful socks no one has yet seen, and his heart is filled to bursting with gladness. But then he remembers that Gerald says it’s time to lay off the socks because the Toronto Star said so.

Justin isn’t allowed to read the newspapers or surf the Internet, except for the bits about fashion and gossip. Back in the ancient days, people made fun of Justin because he said that if anything important happened, someone would tell him. And it’s true! Just yesterday, he heard that Rihanna has finally, maybe, found her true love. Haters say that her new guy is a rich, spoiled brat, but that’s what they used to say about Justin, and look where he ended up! After he became an MP, Justin did try to read the newspapers, but it was hard for him, especially as they made jokes he didn’t understand, like calling a bunch of nobody countries “the Baltics.” Gerald says that he’ll tell Justin everything he needs to know, which is a pretty good deal because Gerald is the smartest man in the room. He says this a lot.

When Justin was in Grade One, all the other boys and girls laughed at him when he couldn’t count past 19. They got a good telling off by the teacher, but Justin was inconsolable. So the Principal sat down with him and explained that a boy like Justin needn’t worry his little head about numbers. “The Liberal Party always looks after its own, my boy,” he said. Justin dried his tears and smiled.

He’s not smiling now. First they tell him he can’t wear awesome socks anymore, and now they’re bugging again him about numbers. Justin said during the election campaign that he would grow the economy not from the top down like Stephen Harper but from the heart outwards. What could be clearer than that? If the people of Canadia thought numbers were so great, they would have elected Harper, that totally not-cool flabby old man with his joke suits and Magicuts hair. But, more than 19 days later, they elected Justin.

And since that time, Justin has ♥ed the economy just as hard as he could, innovating infrastructure all over the place. He was worried when he found out that all this infrastructural innovotation was “blowing up the deficit,” that there was far too much red ink, with black ink a long way away, more than 19 years even. Justin complained to Gerald, “How can the deficit blow up? Deficits are unflammable. And why are black numbers better than red numbers? Sounds a little racist to me.” Gerald replied, “Don’t worry your little head about it. Stick to the talking points, boy.”

He did as he was told. “We are focused, not on the immediate short term, but on the long term,” Justin said. “We don’t see the value in, you know, touting…numbers.” It was like the Baltics all over again. Justin could swear he heard someone in the room laugh, probably someone from the socks-hating Toronto Star.

Not for the first time, Justin felt he’d made a terrible mistake. Life in Vancouver was simple. Whenever he fell off his snowboard, he got right back on again. Whenever some student would point out that Man and Superman is not about the Man of Steel, he’d make of joke of it, and the girls would giggle and blush. But now, Justin was once again up against his Kryptonite, and nothing that Gerald could say would heal his wounded heart. Justin swore foully. “Fucking numbers, how do they work, eh?”

Grace & Steel Ep 51: Whither Canada? With Bill Marchant


Episode 51 of my podcast is now posted here (with copious links) and on YouTube. My guest is Bill Marchant, who writes the Northern Reaction blog and hosts a lively Twitter account. He is a member of Canada’s small (but growing) AltRight, and so I began by asking him why Canada is so pozzed.

And how pozzed is that? There are no conservative voices in the Canadian MSM. They have all been purged over the last decade. Or, like Michael Coren, they have recognized which way the wind is blowing and have become eligible for “Strange New Respect” awards. “Right-wing” Canadian pundits are all “fiscally conservative but socially liberal”—but as we saw after the 2008 economic crisis, their fiscal conservatism is entirely notional. Suffice to say that Ross Douthat is far further to the Right than is permitted in my country—and he writes for the New York Times.

How did this happen? Canada, unlike the United States, has always been a consensus country. That consensus was, until the 1960s, fairly conservative, though it did not manifest the perennial American suspicion of big government. Lester Pearson and Pierre Trudeau, the Liberal prime ministers who led Canada from 1963 to 1984, turned that consensus on its head. All the attributes formerly associated with Canada were deemed not Canadian (and vice versa), and those who protested the revolution were deemed un-Canadian—traitors, really.

Marchant told me that Canada has become the globalist laboratory, particularly with regard to the theory and practice of multiculturalism. It is no coincidence that Justin Trudeau (son of Pierre and our simple-minded current prime minister) has declared Canada to be the world’s “first post-national state.” He explained

There is no core identity, no mainstream in Canada. There are shared values—openness, respect, compassion, willingness to work hard, to be there for each other, to search for equality and justice.

In other words, Liberalism or Death! Canada is the country where boutique enthusiasms (such as gay marriage) become defining national characteristics within a decade. Justin Trudeau is correct that Canada is not a nation (although Quebec has been recognized formally as such). It is a multiethnic, multilingual, multinational empire. It is increasingly totalitarian, a place where a comedian is fined $42,000 for making a joke, where white people are being purged from its two major, formerly English-speaking, cities of Toronto and Vancouver and where unelected courts legalize prostitution and euthanasia, ban believers in God from making political decisions and rule that truth is not a defence to the accusation of “hate speech.”

So what, if anything, is to be done? How could Canada get woke? Donald Trump could be elected President. The Canadian MSM has become ever-more hysterical regarding this possibility, and it’s not because they’re worried about the future of the land of the free and the home of the brave. No, it’s because Trump’s triumph, like Brexit, would suggest that the end of global Leftist hegemony is at hand. Even in that happy event, however, we should never discount Canadian duplicity. Brian Mulroney passed himself off as another Thatcher or Reagan but after becoming prime minister in 1984 he proceeded to extend and amplify the one-party liberal state; for example, mandating racial quotas in federal and federally-regulated hiring.

A second possibility is rebellion. The advantage of the consensus polity is that, as Pearson and Trudeau proved, any change in the consensus can be quick and all pervading. I fully expect that within a decade the Supreme Court of Canada will rule that Christian churches must marry homosexuals or forfeit their statutory privileges (for a start). Should any Canadian government (federal or provincial) refuse to accept this ruling, a constitutional crisis would be initiated. In 1995, shortly after our last constitutional crisis, Quebec came within 54,000 votes of secession.

A third possibility (the most likely, in my opinion) is economic collapse. Even after continuous juking of the stats, Canada barely manages to avoid a depression. We never recovered from 2008 and that was before the collapse of oil prices in 2014. The Canadian provinces east of Manitoba are dependent on “transfer payments” from the “have” provinces in order to survive. Problem is, we’re running out of “haves,” with Alberta and Saskatchewan joining the “have-nots” by 2017. British Columbia alone is not rich enough to support the rest of Canada—even if it wanted to. In the event, our courts continue to grant aboriginals great though undefined power over resource industries, and the resulting uncertainty will devastate Canada’s mining, oil and natural gas industries.

Bill Marchant agrees that Canada as currently constituted may not survive, but argues that the Canadian people are strong and will forge new and superior political arrangements. I hope he’s right.

Wrestling with yet another dying computer prevented me from delivering to you a write-up of Grace & Steel Episode 50, wherein Kevin Steel and I have great fun with the MSM’s insistence that moribund Hillary Clinton is hale and hearty or fit as a fiddle or [your cliché here]. Ol’ Hill ain’t gettin’ any healthier any time soon, so this podcast remains as topical as ever. You can hear it on SoundCloud, at the 2Kevins website (with copious links) or on YouTube.

(This essay appeared originally at VDARE)

Strictly From Hunger

Editor’s Note: This article by Kevin Michael Grace about the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) first appeared in Chronicles Magazine, June 1, 2004

IN HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY, A Season For Justice, Morris Dees describes his 1967 epiphany in snowbound Cincinnati. Dees was, at the time, a millionaire 31-year-old lawyer, salesman, and publisher. While he had “sympathized with the Civil Rights Movement,” he “had not become actively involved.” By the time he arrived in Chicago, however, he was determined to “specialize in civil rights law.” The defiant Dees declared: “It did not matter what my neighbors would think, or the judges, the bankers, or even my relatives.” Morris Dees contra mundum. Four decades later, it may be confidently stated that, whatever neighbors, relatives, and judges might think, Dees’ bankers have no cause for complaint. Continue reading

Grace & Steel Podcast Episode 48: An Interview with Bumbling American

(Originally posted at Vdare)

Episode 48 of my podcast is now posted here (with copious links). My guest is the Twitter poster who goes by the handle Bumbling American. Yes, he is one of those pseudoanonymous “Twitter trolls” that the kids can’t stop talking about and our elite can’t stop being scandalized by. Despite his reputation, he is, as you will hear, quite a genial fellow. Continue reading

Peak Trudeau—Or, No Shirt, No Shoes, Yes, Service!

Many years ago, I read a rather good book by Edward Crankshaw called The Shadow of the Winter Palace: Russia’s Drift to Revolution, 1825–1917. It is, as the title suggests, an examination of Russian politics from the failure of the Decembrist revolt to the triumph of Lenin. Except that Crankshaw abandoned his narrative in December 1916 with the murder of Grigori Rasputin. Continue reading

Grace & Steel Podcast Episode 47: Everybody Hates Hillary

(Originally appeared on VDARE)

Episode 47 of my podcast is now posted here (with copious links). “She-Whose-Turn-It-Is” (as James Howard Kunstler calls her), having stolen the election from Bernie Sanders, was finally insinuated by the Democratic National Committee into the role of Democratic nominee for President, eight years after she was supposed to and 37 years after she first entered public life as First Lady of Arkansas. Continue reading